As I was sitting with Phil this evening and stroking his arm and holding his hand, I put both of my hands on his chest to feel his heartbeat. Although his breathing is now more intermittent, his heart still felt so powerful to me. But I guess that shouldn’t come as a surprise to me – Phil’s heart has always been big and strong.
Suddenly “The Green Mile” came to mind, and I thought how I wish that I had the power to heal Phil, like the main character John Coffey did for the terminally ill wife of the warden in “The Green Mile”. I sat close to him with my hands firmly on his chest, and I wished and wished that I could heal him. I even looked out the window, hoping to see a shooting star, but alas, the dreary, low hanging clouds and fog kept all the stars hidden. Finally I realized how powerless and helpless I was, and I began to cry. I’ve cried a lot lately, but tonight I cried until my tears ran out. And as I cried, Phil turned his head in my direction, blinked his eyes, and then calmly fell back asleep. And there it was – Phil’s big heart finding a way to comfort me and to acknowledge my pain and grief. That’s our Philly…always thinking of others, always making us smile, always being strong, always there for us, always showing his love.
The POWER and LOVE of Phil’s heartbeat will always be with you! Rejoice in that gift and may it always give you strength and happiness!
Hugs and Prayers from all the Craig’s.
By: teri on January 18, 2010
at 12:48 am
Megan & Family,
You have so beautifully thru your words let us know what is going on with Phil & your family. Thank you for sharing with us! This brought me back to when I was sitting w/my younger brother as he was suffering thru his 2nd bone marrow transplant. As we sat with him & prayed for our hands to have God’s power to heal him, God’s plan was to take him to be with him in heaven. Your tears are felt by us all! I know Phil feels all of your love that is surrounding him. May you all feel the comfort of God’s love & our prayers. Our love goes out to all of you. Bonnie & Milt
By: Bonnie Lustnauer on January 18, 2010
at 2:00 am
Dear Megan,
Although you don’t know me, I have kept up on what has been going on with Phil over the last couple of years through Megan and Cole. You have been such a strong presence in his life, and I know that the feelings you have for him are mutual. Healings take many forms. Sometimes the healings help us let go-perhaps it will help Phil let go. Tears are good. Please know that you are not alone. You have many, many people sending angels to watch over you all.
Blessings, Paula
By: Paula Gluntz on January 18, 2010
at 9:55 am
I hope Phil is lying there thinking about kayaking across Twin Lakes on a beautiful summer evening. Nothing could be more peaceful. Your friends from TAASC are with you on this trip, Phil.
And thanks to Megan for your wonderful comments.
Joan
By: Joan Arnold on January 18, 2010
at 10:15 am
We are with you and reaching out to hold your hands.
Peace be with you,
Wendy
By: Wendy Eisnaugle Warmolts & Family on January 18, 2010
at 11:20 am
Megan, your power is in your faith and trust in God to hold Phil in His arms and bring him safely home should that be His will. You have shared such beautiful thoughts and emotions and we all feel your pain, but also the beauty of the peace surrounding Phil at this time. His strong and loving heart is truly what has kept him going and will always be a testament to him. I continue to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.
Kathy
By: Kathy Puccetti on January 18, 2010
at 12:00 pm
Megan and the entire Henry Family,
we continue to lift you up during this part of Phil’s journey. May you find peace in knowing that you have been doing a “job well done” and he knows how much he is loved. Phil, be strong and know your heart will be felt for eternity!!! Much Love, Deneen
By: Deneen Day on January 18, 2010
at 12:53 pm
Phil, we’ve never met . I am a friend of your cousin Jack in Minneapolis. Through him and this web site I feel I know you. You and your family are in my thoughts.
John
By: John McCracken on January 18, 2010
at 12:55 pm
There are many different kinds of healing……..and in your intensely beautiful description, I am struck by the way Phil turned to you. I would say something mysterious happened in that charged moment………even if you can’t know exactly what it was, on this side (the material world). The very definition of “faith” is trust in the face of what is not quantitatively verifiable. I think there was a healing in that moment, for Phil, if not for your terrible sorrow. That will come later.
Love, swb
By: Suzanne Bossert on January 18, 2010
at 1:05 pm
Megan, remember that as you hold Phil’s hand, God is holding onto yours. What an amazing moment you shared. May you and your family be sustained by God’s love and comfort.
“And God shall wipe away all the tears from their eyes…” Revelation 21:4
You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen
By: Karen Randall Scott on January 18, 2010
at 1:44 pm
Megan, that was the most beautiful words I have ever read.
It must be such a huge comfort for Phil to know that he is surrounded by such love.
We are all here praying for you all for peace and love to be with you always in this trying time.
Kate
By: Kate Leaver on January 18, 2010
at 2:11 pm
I am a friend of Phil. He has so many. I attended the Thursday night 6:15. So many evenings there when I was going through many trials, Phil ‘s comments or antics kept me smiling. I remeber when he thought that he had found a away to make the group’s coffee and not have to be at the meeting so early. He would make the coffee at home and transport it in the floor of his truck only to have it spill entirely. I am not sure he appreciated our laughter initially. But we loved him and his candid stories that helped keep us all sober. I will miss him a great deal and pray for his loss to his family.
By: Janet Dakers on January 18, 2010
at 2:57 pm
Dear Phil and family. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. We leave you with this prayer. “May the road rise up to meet you and the wind be at your back and until we meet again may God hold you in the palm of his hand.” May God bless you all during this trying time.
By: The Stone Family on January 18, 2010
at 4:41 pm
Megan –
What heartfelt, eloquent words you share with all of us. How beautiful that you are not only helping Phil during this trying time, but that he is also comforting you in your time of despair. Your bond as brother and sister will transcend this earthly world. Thank you for sharing this painful yet beautiful moment with all of us.
Please whisper our words of love to Phil today and give a hug to all the Henrys from the O’Neils.
Love,
Jill, Randy, Jack, and Kate
By: Jill O'Neil Braverman on January 18, 2010
at 5:14 pm
My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time of grief
Love to all
Jennifer
By: jennifer sutton( shalvoy) on January 18, 2010
at 10:45 pm
Megan,
Your beautiful words and the fact that you are sharing these days with us have me in tears. Hold on to these moments you are sharing with Phil; hopefully they will be of some comfort to you. With all my heart I thank you for sharing; so wish I was there to be a comfort to you and all the Henrys.
The Serenity Prayer is one of my favorites; keep repeating it!
I leave you with God’s word: ” God is our refuge and strength, an ever-lasting help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” With God at your side, and all the people who love you, your family and Phil may you find the reason for this and realize that Phil was put on this earth for a reason: to be an example to us all to be courageous, grateful for what we have, and to not let a day go by that we do not share our love with our family and friends.
Hugs and kisses to all of you. Please share them with Phil too.
Can not stop thinking of all of you,
Tricia
By: tricia o'neil on January 18, 2010
at 11:33 pm