Greetings,
I hope everyone’s year is off to a great start. I know we are all anxiously awaiting spring, and it will be here soon. My winter has been pretty long. I’ve had a pressure sore since before the marathon and the doctor wasn’t quite sure why it wasn’t healing. So I had an MRI, which indicated that I had an infection in my pelvic bone region. So a port was put in my arm and I administered an IV drip nightly. I was told that I needed surgery to clean out the infection, and that staying off my backside is the only way these sores (I now have another sore on my left side) will heal. So a week before Christmas I started bed rest. The couch in my living room has a pull out bed, so this is where I spend all of my time, except to sleep. My surgery was January 15th, and I have been pretty much laying here since.
The first couple of days on bed rest weren’t too bad because I’m actually pretty lazy at heart, and laying around reading the paper wasn’t such a bad gig. But it soon became a very depressing deal, unable to work out and only leaving the house to go to the wound clinic. There were a lot of lonely nights, especially since Steph and I have taken a break from each other. Instead of reaching out to people, I crawled into this deep, dark hole. That’s pretty much where I have been these last two months. I’m ashamed to admit that my faith in God, or in anything else, was lost. My self-pity and depression were the worst since my accident.
It took an unfortunate incident for me to gain perspective on things. A couple of weeks ago, our cousin Diane Sheedy passed away after a three week stay at the hospital. It was quite shocking to all of my relatives on my moms side of the family, as Diane was usually in good health. My aunts and cousins came in from Minnesota and Chicago to join the Columbus contingency. I could see the loss on everyone’s face, as Diane was such a sweetheart to all of us. She will be sadly missed. I also received reports about another cousin, Anita, who was also in the ICU. She has such a positive attitude and enough faith for all of us and is such and inspiration to me. She is back home again to continue her fight against a debilitating disease.
Sometimes it takes events such as these for me to gain proper perspective on my life and my situation and where it all fits in the grand scheme of things. I have stopped taking painkillers for the first time since my accident and I feel I am gaining clarity again. I know how very blessed I am to have such a large, loving family and so many cool, supportive friends. It is all of you that keep me going even when I want to give up. Thank you! And I know the most important thing is faith, because without it, I’m empty and lost.
I have three or four more months of bed rest before I hopefully heal, but it is just one day at a time, because that’s all any of us have anyway. I know at some point I will be outside this summer, hopefully kayaking and riding my hand-crank bike again.
The 2nd Annual Texas Hold ‘Em Tournament was a huge success once again! We had more players and raised more money than last year. Many thanks to Kevin and Cathy Walsh and Geoff and Linda Bevins for making it all happen. Also thanks to our many sponsors and to Cameron Mitchell for donating the wonderful food and Matt Robinson for donating the drinks! If you missed it this year, plan to join us next year and bring a friend.
Now that I’m feeling better, I will blog again real soon! I would love to hear from you, so keep in touch.
Love you all,
Phil
“I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” Phil 4:13
“God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient.” Colossians 1:11
Remember these 2 passages Phil, and remember you have lots of folks who care about you that you can reach out to.
“The sun’s gonna shine in my back door someday.
March wind’s gonna blow
all my troubles away.”
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,
Karen
By: Karen Randall Scott on March 15, 2009
at 9:14 am
Hey Phil!
Sorry to hear that you have not healed yet. Hang in there! I am positive there is light at the end of the tunnel! Before you know it you will be out in the summer sunshine enjoying a bike ride and kayaking, and this time will be a blur!
It was great to see you last month, although I wish it was under different circumstances. You and Jack should have a comedy act; you made us laugh so much!!
Always in my thoughts,
Tricia
By: tricia o'neil on March 16, 2009
at 8:06 am
Phil:
Really miss you and hope to connect soon. I am so proud of you for riding up out of this valley. So many steep hill climbs on this journey. You are and will continue to be a man of great perseverence and endurance. I heard in a song along time ago, “He didn’t pull you from the river to drop you in the sea.” Even though it can feel that way.
Much love and a hug,
Sue
By: Sue on March 16, 2009
at 3:29 pm
Phil,
I’m so sad to hear that you still need more rest to heal your sores! I know how hard it most be to stay positive, but when that time of freedom finally comes to you again, I know you will be off enjoying nature again soon. Keep the faith. So many people are thinking and praying for you. You have been an inspiration to me and so many others! How we all take life for granted and complain about the little things in life, that you now know don’t really matter.
It was great seeing you while recently in Columbus, although under such sad circumstances. Hope to see you again soon.
Love your cousin,
Alice
By: alice chapman on March 16, 2009
at 6:40 pm
hey Phil,
I am so happy ( with tears running down my face) to see this message from you!
I am absolutely ready to reconnect with you!
I spoke with Jules this am, and had lunch with Darienne yesterday.
I want to catch up,and share some stories with you too! The ball’s in your court. I am around this Saturday if you feel like calling after you get through the paper. No pressure…
: )
Love and prayers,
Leigh Ann
By: leigh ann on March 17, 2009
at 8:17 pm
Phil:
Good Luck tonite at Texas Hold Em’! Hope you win but I also hope Joe wins. Do you even read this blog? I hope you can come to my BB test. Final would be Monday, May 4th barring I don’t try to get myself some more broken bones like a dufus. It will be rolled into the regular testing. Maybe you could time it so you can arrive later so you can stay for the good parts, considering your sitting and travel restrictions at this point. But definitely do what is best for YOU!!! Did I tell you Brett was at the big BB test? Nice to see him and he asked about you.
Hang in there my friend and hero…..I am hoping your battles become fewer and far between. The sun is shining and we are headed into brighter days as we head out of the abyss we know as winter in Columbus, Ohio.
Much love and a hug,
Sue
By: Sue on March 20, 2009
at 8:34 pm
Phil,
What a wonderful family and group of friends you have! Speaks volumes…
Glad to hear of your renewed hope in God. Praying for you. (Hope to see you May 4th.)
In Christ, Tom Wang
By: tom on March 22, 2009
at 8:07 am
Hen,
This note is a little late, but I wanted to say how much fun we had at the Texas Hold Em’ event. I understand that Kent was in the money (nice job groovis)- I was long gone by then.
Give me a call next time you guys are sitting around jamming, I want to see Ron’s new guitar that Randy had made, I promise not to try to sing.
Be cool fool,
Tut
By: Tut on March 23, 2009
at 7:47 pm
Phil:
I’m so glad and relieved that you’re taking steps out of the darkness. I can’t begin to imagine the struggle you face each day. Keep on this path and hopefully each day will be a little brighter.
On a shallow note, I have one word for you: LOST. Rent it beginning with the first episode. It’s good entertainment, sparks many conversations, and you’ll enjoy the girls. They’re on a tropical island after all.
Lots of love,
Cousin Lynne
By: Lynne Assardo on March 26, 2009
at 11:15 am
Dear Phil ~
SO very good to hear from you. Many things you wrote made me sad, very sad, but then I remember a conversation I had with you and I’m sure you will remember it as well. For your family, it is MUCH better to HAVE YOU HERE, then to not have you at all.
You are still the same Phil, the same brother, the same cousin, the same son, the same Uncle, the same nephew, the same friend, etc, etc…and oh my God, you’re here to hold, hug, laugh with, sing with…what a HUGE blessing from God you are.
I tell ya Phil, you’re going to share your stories with another person and you’re going to pull someone through their tough times, I’m sure of it!
So my words of advise to you dear Phil …
It’s one I’ve used before but I so dearly love ~
If God brings you to it, He’ll get you through it.
Never question His plan for you Phil, trust in the Lord with all your heart! Can I hear an amen?
Peace to you!
Kate xo
By: Kate Leaver on March 26, 2009
at 12:10 pm
OMG! – is all I could say – reading the first few lines.
Although I knew little bit – I did not know this much.
I can only imagine how frustrating& challenging this must be (has been)! -all of these things happening in your life-
…and especially since I know you are more of a “DOer”than BE(er) (…. and no this isn’t beer but BE(er) for being (:)
I do hope you keep the faith and patience and have a chance to maybe read some good stuff and enjoy the quiet during these trying times…
Thank you for putting my views in “proper perspective” though.
I am sorry about your own struggle and certainly family loss and some of the ongoing health concerns!
Thinking of you all.
Warmly,
I.
PS: get on Facebook, that will keep ya busy…although it’s addictive(:
By: Ilona on March 26, 2009
at 3:03 pm
I say we rig you up something to lay on in your backyard and I’ll come over & sunbathe with you when the weather gets nice. We’ll visit & catch up!!
By: Molly Mortley on March 26, 2009
at 11:38 pm
Hey Phil,
Sorry I haven’t been in touch. I don’t have a computer in the shed. I had a computer at work….when I had a job.But they got all “weird” about me using it after I was fired.
I’m at your cousins and got a chance to check in while Mary Lou and Lynne are painting the hallway.
Boy…could ‘Painting by Phil’ use a Minnesota division.
I hope you feel better with each day.
Your in my prayers every night.
Love you,
Gary L.K.
By: Lynne Assardo on March 28, 2009
at 2:51 pm
Hi, Phil.
Glad to hear you may have turned a corner recently! I can only imagine (wait, correction, I can not imagine) the despair you have been feeling this winter. In short, it sucks. I’m not sure how much one person can handle, but I am so thankful that you are somehow handling it one day at a time. We cannot imagine a world without you in it, Phil, and this was confirmed for me when I saw you in Columbus recently. Even when we broke into your house in the middle of the night, you managed to make us laugh just like the Phil of days past. You are such a sharp, funny, kind, and handsome man (that’s a little weird for a cousin to say, isn’t it?), but it’s true. Wheel chair or no wheel chair, we love you just the same, in fact even more because you remind us how fragile life is and how much we should all embrace it. In fact, I think we’ll all agree that the Robinson clan is probably stronger than ever and more connected than ever. I hope you feel all the love and support from your family! Now if we could just get Gary out of that shed!
Always thinking of you,
Jill
By: Jill Braverman on March 30, 2009
at 9:29 am
Phil,
Please keep writing and reading and reaching out. I think staying connected will help both of us.
Thank you,
Lynne
By: Lynne Assardo on March 31, 2009
at 10:25 am
Hey Phil,
I called your dad today (3.31.09) on his birthday and got an update about you from him. Sorry you are having problems…… we don’t appreciate good health when we have it. Our Henry family here and in North Carolina are doing OK, getting older – grandson Trevor was 5 this month and grandson Seth was 13. Barbara and I will be great-grandparents this summer when son Jeff’s daughters have their babies. Uncle Bob
By: Uncle Bob Henry on March 31, 2009
at 5:49 pm
Hey you Stud….
So great to hear you have forged ahead once again during some very difficult times… You are an incredible person and I have no doubt you will heal up and be back “cranking” that bike of yours before you know it! I would love to get together for lunch sooner than later… I Love you and miss you… Peg
By: Peg Dyas on April 1, 2009
at 9:25 pm
Happy Easter, Phil!
I am saddened to hear that you are, unfortunately, in the hospital again. Sure wish I could visit you!
Last night my children and I attended the Easter Vigil at church ( the longest mass of the year-two and a half hours, needless to say my children’s eyes were rolling!, but it was a beautiful ceremony).
I would like to share a few words from our pastor’s message in our weekly bulletin with you:
“Easter is all about FAITH, HOPE, AND LOVE.
FAITH to trust that somehow God has a plan for us. HOPE that despite the challenges and obstacles life puts upon us, God walks with us to help us embrace them and overcome them. And LOVE that the depth of love Jesus had and continues to have for us, to ultimately give his life for the the salvation of all, is still ours today.”
I realize it is hard to accept when you are in the midst of of such pain, but I send you HOPE to continue living on in the journey of life with all its twists and bends, and I send you all my LOVE that this fight will get easier each day. I have FAITH in you, Phil, that you will perservere, and that soon you will be enjoying the sunshine and warmth upon you!
HOPE you can feel the LOVE sent from Chicago. You are an amazing individual and I am so proud to call you my cousin.
Hang in there, and keep the FAITH!!
Tricia
By: tricia o'neil on April 12, 2009
at 7:42 am
Hen,
Hope you fell better real soon, thinking about you,
Tut
By: Tut on April 15, 2009
at 2:59 pm
Phil!!
Are you grooving on this incredible weather? Hope you are enjoying it! I think spring has sprung right into summer!
Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you. I hope you are doing well and your spirits are up!
Take care!
Peace to you!
Kate
By: Kate Leaver on April 27, 2009
at 4:10 pm
Hey Phil,
Just a quick note to let you know I’m thinking about you. I know the situation you’re in must be really testing you. Just remember what some wise person once said, “This too shall pass.”
Hang in there!
Love,
Lynne
By: Lynne Assardo on April 27, 2009
at 5:23 pm
Hi, Phil.
I was so happy to hear from Megan that your condition has improved a bit — the swelling is down, you’re eating a little more, and feeling human again. There is not a day that goes by when I don’t think of you and hope that today is better than yesterday. One day at a time is the best any of us can do, but faith and hope propel us forward. I hope you are digging deep to find both!
Love ya lots!
Jill
By: Jill Braverman on April 30, 2009
at 10:45 am
Hello Phil,
It has been quite a while since I have written but I think of you every single day and am always hoping and praying for the best for you. Every now and then I hear a little about your health setbacks and I am then afraid to go to your blog. I am a total ostrich about sad news, so I hope you have continued to make progress this spring. This past weekend was beautiful and I hope you enjoyed it. Whenever I talk with the experts here doing research on spinal cord injury, they do emphasize that some of the medical problems that follow such an injury can be threatening to physical and mental health, so it is not surprising that depression sets in. I hope Spring and Summer will continue to help to lift the dark mood and keep it away. Yours truly, Kay
By: kay huebner on May 26, 2009
at 4:12 pm
Phil,
Just wanted to check in and say hi! I know it was a hell of a winter for you and summer is almost here. Hope to have a spot for you in the marathon again this year!
Kathleen.
By: Anonymous on June 4, 2009
at 3:45 am
Dear Phil,
It looks like you are growing beyond your blog but I have been thinking a lot about you and wanted to see if there was anything new here to tell me how you are doing. I thought it was a pretty nice summer, in spite of the rain, which we could use now. It was green right until August and I have been imagining you cheerfully soaking up the sun. I hope this picture is not too far off. I shall always wish you and your family well. Yours truly, Kay
By: Kay Huebner on August 18, 2009
at 6:09 pm